Install Theme

Your web-browser is very outdated, and as such, this website may not display properly. Please consider upgrading to a modern, faster and more secure browser. Click here to do so.

It's Not A Cologne, It's A Weapon!

Joelle, 18, Perth. I love comedy and I'm a commerce student majoring in marketing and advertising.
Mar 9 '12
The Defibrillator Toaster My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!” “DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!” He’s bread, Jim. Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast!  JESUS CRUST. JAM IT! “Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

The Defibrillator Toaster

My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”

“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”

He’s bread, Jim.

Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M

If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 

JESUS CRUST.

JAM IT!

“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

(Source: secretsbest)

332,722 notes (via lordoftheinternet & secretsbest)

  1. mertzwertz reblogged this from xxbalenciagaxxbabexx
  2. kaseywayne reblogged this from whovian-all-over
  3. xxbalenciagaxxbabexx reblogged this from beautifulsouls-ovoxo
  4. aquaticaquarius reblogged this from th13f-0f-l1ght
  5. will-rant-for-food reblogged this from craseydreams29
  6. fiepige reblogged this from missvampirediaries
  7. annisquotes reblogged this from whovian-all-over
  8. too-manyfandomstocount reblogged this from missvampirediaries
  9. meansthegoodlife reblogged this from everythingcanadian
  10. let-go-sweetheart reblogged this from whovian-all-over
  11. iddieforyou-iwontliveforyou reblogged this from travellingbytardis
  12. chaiti3192 reblogged this from everythingcanadian
  13. missvampirediaries reblogged this from a-box-full-of-fandoms
  14. timeislovee reblogged this from hard-to-be-purrfect
  15. a-box-full-of-fandoms reblogged this from hidinginthedragonslair
  16. teacup-overload reblogged this from silence-psychikos
  17. isaburr reblogged this from everythingcanadian
  18. bittersweetcupcake reblogged this from choiminhoshwunshwun
  19. officialsamcarr reblogged this from whovian-all-over
  20. eracerx reblogged this from whovian-all-over
  21. hidinginthedragonslair reblogged this from whovian-all-over
  22. freya-star reblogged this from whovian-all-over
  23. choiminhoshwunshwun reblogged this from whovian-all-over
  24. whovian-all-over reblogged this from itsonlyfourlatters
  25. orangesidecar reblogged this from avengersassemble-inmypants
  26. hard-to-be-purrfect reblogged this from kissmefrommynosedowntomy
  27. food-addicts-anonymous reblogged this from imironmanbitch and added:
    a;lkghdjhgajhs;dg;lgk this is perfect
  28. erinnny reblogged this from randomnessandfandomness
  29. im-just-a-white-girl reblogged this from avengersassemble-inmypants
  30. shortwithoutshoesies reblogged this from avengersassemble-inmypants
  31. sonoluvr22 reblogged this from avengersassemble-inmypants
  32. itsonlyfourlatters reblogged this from thetimetrick
  33. thetimetrick reblogged this from silence-psychikos
  34. craseydreams29 reblogged this from monsterofmeg